iphone happenings

Living in apartment is not so bad, but one thing I notice is I always have my hands completely full. Maybe that's all moms? I've usually got a grocery bag, a purse, a baby bag filled with all sorts of gear, keys to get in, a loose sippy cup, and a Moosh on the hip. Sometimes she walks, but lately she plops down in the middle of the hall and starts taking her shoes off so its just easier to let her hang on. Maybe I just need to pretend like we're folks are in the big city. Anyway, all this schleping around prevents me from checking the mail every day, but yesterday I remembered a little package might be waiting. So we swung by our box on the way up and there was the beautiful grey envelope waiting. My buddy Carlisle is getting married and I helped her with her invitations so I was dying to see everything assembled. Don't you just love getting a wedding invitation? Makes you feel special. The invite looked perfect and I was thrilled the colors were as I'd hoped. Even though I can't bethere, it makes me feel like I'm a part of her special day. Here's a quick pic and please excuse the mysterious green crayon that "somehow" made its way on the scene.

weekend pics : Moosh sleeping hard when I picked her up one afternoon. I can't tell you how sweet it is to walk into a dark room of sleeping toddlers. Everyone on their mats, relaxing music, some squirming, some resting. I was shocked to see how peaceful and quiet they all were.

random iphone happenings…it's kinda amazing for reals y'all


painted floor from bh&g / quote from laybabylay

twenty months

So this is what 20 months looks like. Wispy locks growing wild. More bumps and bruises from "running" around. Talking up a storm and trying to repeat what I say (time for me to lose a couple vocab words). Constant runny nose. The occasional tantrum. Obsessing over the number 5 (we live on the 5th floor). Using a spoon. Feeding the Elmo chair milk and snacks. Down to one nap a day. Still rocking the #4 diapers. Learning our shapes. Pretending to answer the phone. Calling out Bizzy bear every time she sees my ipad. Pointing out letters. Ring Around the Rosie on my bed. Eating crayons. And just generally making life a whole lot more fun.

keeping cool

Last night we laid in bed, discussing the day and last minute thoughts before turning out the lights. We were talking about how crazy life is with a baby. How you can never take your eyes off them and yet you don't want to be some overprotective parent always hovering. I'd seen a picture of the Novagratz family here and I brought up how wild it must be to have 7 children. I mean, I'm sure they have help and all, but still. Seven children is still a whole lot of business. And yet they seem totally chill. Like they're up for anything and let things happen as they will. Of course I don't know these people, but it's an air they have about them. Like they're super focused and driven and yet very laid back parents. So do some people just have that way about them? And the more chaos the more go with the flow some people are? I strive to be like that, but I'm not sure I always achieve that balance of relaxed yet organized. I don't believe any of my friends would use the word "organized" to describe moi! Anyway, I think it's just a frame of mind people try and have. Like try not to get caught up in it all and enjoy the moment. Even if they don't have it all together in real life, what a nice reminder from a good looking tv fam. 

crazy clogs

My wardrobe has been feeling seriously boring lately so I took it apon myself to make a couple purchases. Nothing crazy, but some new staples. One, being these jeans from Gap. I think I've worn them almost everyday this week which is a little scary, but when you're feeling it you just go with it. Anyway, they're amazing and I highly recommend.

So, on to purchase number two, these clogs. Now I'm not sure that clogs are particularly "in" right now, but I saw a cute lady wearing them so I'm saying they are. I wanted something that was easy to throw on, but not a boot and something not as casual as my Toms. Promise, I'm getting to my point. Anyway, I bought these and have been wearing them all around town (my apartment and the grocery) thinking how cute they were and how stylish I felt wearing a bit of a heel but not really wearing a heal. Obsessed. That is until Wednesday afternoon. I met a new friend of a friend for lunch at this cute place called Rise No 1. We had a great time and chatted along until it was time to part. So I'm walking to my car when I somehow start to twist my ankle and begin to tumble, thinking at one point I might able to save this, but oh no… I'm going down and I'm going down hard. I grabbed a planted urn and it was coming on with me. One leg in the air the other twisting to the ground as I went onto the sidewalk with a big thud. It was not pretty my friends. Low and behold I was shaken but not seriously injured. Now the only problem was I couldn't find my other clog. This tiny, skinny lady puffing on her ciggy came rushing to my aide and people within the store came out to assist. We were all looking under the parked cars everywhere when the lady said, "honey your shoe is on top of the car". And there it sat. My pretty new clog perched on TOP of this pretty new Mercedes. For real? How that happened I can not tell you. Luckily a bruise and embarrassment is all I was left with. Can you imagine if I'd really hurt myself? Lordy mercy. So my pretty little clogs are resting in my closet until I get up the nerve to wear 'em again. Or at least until my bruise heals.
 

day of love

Ahhh… a day of love. I don't care if it's sappy, I kinda like Valentines day. Flowers and champagne and a card… yes please. Miriam's been bringing home all sorts of pink hearts and crafty projects from school the last few days. Hard to believe they actually let them have glitter at this age, but as long as I don't have to clean it up. We decorated our apartment with crepe paper streamers everywhere and made some valentines for her classmates. Are we really doing this already? Miss Moosh you are growing up entirely too fast for your momma.
So, we actually celebrated early with some take-out last night, because Trev has to be at a work thing tonight. How nice to listen to some tunes and drink some good beer and not be glued to the computer or tv. Gotta do that more often for real. I sure do love my husband and I sure do love that baby. Happy Valentines Day my friends.

mommy guilt

Lordy pete, what a few days can do. I was completely down in the dumps and now I am back to myself and feeling good. Time helps so I just know life is going to get better & better here in Texas. One of the hardest adjustments has been taking Miriam to a new school every day. Because of our timing I had to enroll her in two mother's day out programs in a strange city without knowing anyone in either one. It's crazy when you don't know where to look, but when in doubt, find a church. There's usually nice ladies there and if not keep on looking.

The two programs I found are great and I know she is well taken care of, BUT it was very emotional to just drop her off not really knowing the community. I'm pretty sure I cried every morning those first weeks. I was a mess. In my mind I knew she was fine, but I felt wrapped with guilt. How could I leave that sweet Moosh even for a few hours? Especially, when she started getting upset when I would drop her off. She was always so chill and easy when I left her before, but now she was crying "mommy, mommy" as I handed her off. I mean, seriously broke my heart. Plus she was exhausted from being at school all day so when I picked her up she was moody and cranky. I think I underestimated how hard the move would be on her. I simply assumed that since we'd moved before and she was always on the go with me that she'd be fine, but those first weeks were rough. Your whole body just aches when they are upset and this huge sense of responsibility that comes with having a child is something I'm still trying to grasp.

The part of me that loves work feels bad that I'm not with her all the time & the part of me that loves being with her misses the satisfaction and happiness from my work. This whole yin & yang thing… whew, I had no idea the mental balance would be this hard. A friend of mine posted this article on facebook and though I don't really get into the "mommy wars" part I think its such a wonderful reminder that the juggle of motherhood is a balance no matter what you choose. We ladies have to stick together after all. For now though, I'm going to make this work and enjoy it. Just got to balance life the best I can for our family.

And when I do pick up Miriam at the end of the day, big cheeks smiling and little body running towards me, well all I can say is it's real, pure magic.