mommy guilt

Lordy pete, what a few days can do. I was completely down in the dumps and now I am back to myself and feeling good. Time helps so I just know life is going to get better & better here in Texas. One of the hardest adjustments has been taking Miriam to a new school every day. Because of our timing I had to enroll her in two mother's day out programs in a strange city without knowing anyone in either one. It's crazy when you don't know where to look, but when in doubt, find a church. There's usually nice ladies there and if not keep on looking.

The two programs I found are great and I know she is well taken care of, BUT it was very emotional to just drop her off not really knowing the community. I'm pretty sure I cried every morning those first weeks. I was a mess. In my mind I knew she was fine, but I felt wrapped with guilt. How could I leave that sweet Moosh even for a few hours? Especially, when she started getting upset when I would drop her off. She was always so chill and easy when I left her before, but now she was crying "mommy, mommy" as I handed her off. I mean, seriously broke my heart. Plus she was exhausted from being at school all day so when I picked her up she was moody and cranky. I think I underestimated how hard the move would be on her. I simply assumed that since we'd moved before and she was always on the go with me that she'd be fine, but those first weeks were rough. Your whole body just aches when they are upset and this huge sense of responsibility that comes with having a child is something I'm still trying to grasp.

The part of me that loves work feels bad that I'm not with her all the time & the part of me that loves being with her misses the satisfaction and happiness from my work. This whole yin & yang thing… whew, I had no idea the mental balance would be this hard. A friend of mine posted this article on facebook and though I don't really get into the "mommy wars" part I think its such a wonderful reminder that the juggle of motherhood is a balance no matter what you choose. We ladies have to stick together after all. For now though, I'm going to make this work and enjoy it. Just got to balance life the best I can for our family.

And when I do pick up Miriam at the end of the day, big cheeks smiling and little body running towards me, well all I can say is it's real, pure magic.

on the mend

Well, I'm happy to report our family of three is on the mend. I hate being sick. It's quite annoying really, but it's even harder when you're little. And if baby's not happy, nobody's happy. Miriam has been my constant shadow, which I secretly like, but I think it was starting to hurt daddy's feelings. Poor fella. Sometimes a girl just wants her momma. Last night we all took a big sigh. I cooked my own version of this lovely chicken parmesan by bridget. Quick and easy. While we waited Miriam and I ate lots of sliced cucumbers and played pots & pans, one of our favorite past times lately. She loves to gather a variety of toys and then stir them in one by one with a wooden spoon. A budding chef perhaps? We ended the weekend with some special treats from Sprinkles. Did I mention this town literally has everything you can imagine? Trev was not so impressed, but me I rarely turn my nose at a cupcake so I'll definitely be back for another bite.

ikea + square burger + dinosaurs

After feeling a bit sorry for myself last week, the weather brightened and Friday arrived which meant hubs was home. We did a lots exploring around town. Went to dinner with our friends from back home that recently moved to Dallas as well. Two cranky and tired toddlers tagged along with us which made dinner a little bit of a struggle, but it was so nice to see some familiar faces and talk about our new city. Then I made my first trip to Ikea. I was speechless. It was way cool and also way cheap. The child area was my favorite and I had to resist penciling in all the item numbers on my list. It's so big you actually have to write down your item list then go pick stuff up on your way out. Let me just say it will blow your mind.

We also explored McKinney a bit more which has a beautiful, historic downtown. Lots of cute shops, but we mainly zeroed in on food and found the most amazing place called Square Burger. It's so good I can barely stop thinking about it. All of their burgers come with a fried pickle. Stop it… and they have a great beer list and a great kids menu and I could go on and on and on, but I'll just show you my plate and our happy faces.

Next, we went to the Heard Natural Science Museum to see their dinosaur exhibit. Yes y'all we saw dinosaurs in Texas. It was very random and probably better suited for bigger kids, but it was such a pretty day we just loved being outside. I mean, 70 in January? I could get used to this real quick.

So, after all our fun sweet Moosh came down with a 102 fever Sunday night. She was so sad and hot and just wanted to literally lay on my chest and be held. Her fever went down after I alternated between ibuprofen & acetometaphin every 3 hours. I had no idea you could do that, but worked like a charm. She's still been fighting a terrible sinus thing all week, but I think she's slowly getting better. I'm quite sure she picked it up from day school. All those dirty little hands and runny noses. Sweet, because now mommy and daddy are sick. We are a pitiful bunch for sure so I'm off to buy a humidifier and more kleenex and definitely more hand sanitizer… sniffle, sniffle.

we made it

So here I am y'all… blogging from Texas! Whew, it's been a whirlwind. Trevor was already here so my brother Will and I made the 10 hour trip down together which was pretty fun. The day went by faster than I'd imagined. We talked the entire way down, music playing as we took turns playing DJ, and the landscape gradually changing outside our windows. This time, leaving home felt a lot more real. My parents arrived with Miriam the next morning. With all the anxiety I've been having, my family's presence really grounded me and helped ease me into my first few days here.

Since we couldn't find a house in such a short timeline, we ended up renting a furnished apartment through hubs work. It's a great development called Watters Creek in Allen with shops and restaurants below the living space. Nice and pretty, but even though they have an Anthroplogie dangerously close to my doorstep, it's a little strange being in corporate housing. The transition is still brand new and it's been really hard. I wish I was one of those spontaneous people that could trot around the world and pick up in a second for a new adventure. But I'm not. Apparently, I crave the familiarity of home and old friends faces. So a few tears have been shed, usually when hearing my mommas voice, but I'm going to make it. Really, I am. Time to be strong and brave and just forge my path here in Texas. I did it in Greenville and now I will do it here in Dallas. And thank goodness for a very supportive husband and adorable little Moosh right here by my side.

edley's bbq

Ever since we found out we're moving, I have been getting out around town as much as I can. Trying to be as social as possible. It's setting in that I will not have the luxury of friends nearby so I am trying to squeeze 'em all a little more often. So we made a trip to new restaurant called Edley's BBQ. The chef is a friend so he hooked us up with an insatiable amount of food. If you like smoked meat then this is the spot. Pretty wooden bar, good vibe, and really great food. and And I could barely contain myself when the fried pickles arrived. Nashville has been pleading for a good bbq spot and Edley's totally fills that gap. And one little note about our trip : our pregnant friend was past her due date ready to pop so we were all hoping the crazy amount of pork would push her over the edge. Baby Holden did arrive 2 days later.

shop local

I know I've said it before, but I'm saying it again… if I dreamed up the perfect baby store it would look exactly like Tweed Baby Outfitters. It's pretty perfect. So I was so excited to see them get a little pub last week in the paper. If you live here and haven't been, ya gotta go support this local spot. The perfect baby gift and loads of good looking, teeny-tiny items await you.

holiday break

The presents have all been opened, the local holiday radio station has tuned back to classic rock, and even the leftovers are gone. Wahh. Is Christmas really over? That was way too fast, but Santa was good to us and we were able to spend some really nice time with the entire family. Family in Atlanta, family in Chattanooga, and family here in Nashville. We were on the road, but our little moosh was an angel. I think all of the people and all of the commotion just made her crash. It was exhausting for us all, but I loved seeing the grandparents watch her run around.


And of course, her and cousin Charles ran around all Christmas Eve and even took turns pushing one another in the baby stroller. Hi-larious. Instead of the traditional childrens table this year, momma put those of us with "babies" at the little table. Fine, fine… we had fun anyway.

Christmas morning was very relaxing and the mini Moosh sure racked up. My dad went just a wee overboard at the toy store. And I can say we officially have an elmo-obsessed toddler. "Elmo, elmo, elmo"… like she's on repeat. Oh yeah.


And here's our card from this year with Brooke's pics from this summer. Go on and tell me those eyes don't just say make you wanna melt. Babies sure are precious creatures.

merry christmas

We're off to Atlanta, then Chattanooga, then back to Nashville for the holidays so let the merriment begin. Hope you have a lovely Christmas and I leave you with some silly babies all dressed up and waiting on santa.

party in clemson

When we moved away from Greenville I was definitely sad to leave my friends, but I knew I'd be back soon. And so last weekend we hopped in the car and drove as quick as can be to town for Austin + Mary Frances' wedding. The festivities were actually all in Clemson, but on our way in we spent the night with the the lovely Miss Carlisle, my previous nanny. She was one of the best things that ever happened to me during our time there and I have missed her so. She saw Miriam and I through those tough days and became such a dear friend when I was feeling a little lonely. Lordy, we were lucky to have her and to think we met in the Publix. That's like some crazy story you'd hear in a southern novel, but it's true. I swear it. Anyway, we didn't stop talking all evening and I didn't want to leave. On our way out of town we rolled through our old hood, North Main, and saw some cute new stores that had popped up. Of course, they opened after I left. Typical, but good for them. And our bungalow on McDonald was just shining bright, all dolled up with lights and garland. I love to think someone is enjoying it as much as we did.

Then it was on to the wedding. It was party after party and everyone was in great spirits for the reunion of sorts. Classmates of Trevor's were there and friends we'd made along the way. My favorite buddy Kathryn was there too and we seriously had the best time catching up. I'm pretty sure I didn't leave her side all weekend and we had a ball. Definitely broke out some dance moves and overindulged in the fun. The weekend was beautiful and a big success thanks to a handful of really wonderful and inviting people. We felt like we were home and I guess we kind of were.

in the holiday mood

Roasted Rosemary Cashews : I made these lovelies over the weekend and let me go on record - they're delish. Makes your whole house smell toasty & herby. I found them at The Afternoon Off and wanted to give them a try before gifting to some friends, but I seems to be polishing 'em off before they get out the door. Meanwhile, Miriam was busy playing dress up and stacking toys on the coffee table while watching the Sprout channel. She's all of a sudden obsessed with the TV and will even pick up the remote and point it at the tv. Uh, oh.


We've also been really getting into the spirit around here. Mini tree is up, "Michael Buble Holiday" station on Pandora is on, and tree in a candle is burning. I've been totally stressed out and exhausted, but Christmas is coming and I do love this time of year. Cousin Lauren and I went shopping with the momas last week and had the best day. All the shops were decked out and we started early, but we barely made a dent. Just maybe… our champagne lunch lingered a little too long.