a good soak

Yesterday was tough one. I woke up feeling like I never went to sleep and had big bags under my eyes. Balancing the babe, I poured myself some OJ. Then attempted to toast an english muffin, spread butter, and pour honey on it all with one free hand. I woofed it down and later wished I'd made two.

Maybe you noticed, but I slipped away recently. I've actually tried to blog a few times, but came up with nothing. My mind is mush. Reckon that's what sleep deprivation will do to you. Two and three hours here and there is nice, but not the same as a restful night. Maybe people don't tell you because they don't want to scare you, but let me just say… it's really hard. Little Miriam has found her voice, so I've spent many hours walking the house or rocking in my chair. Later that morning I got a much needed call from a friend. I think she sensed the weariness in my voice and she knew exactly how I felt. How exhausting these first weeks are. How wonderful it is to have this new baby, but also how demanding and life changing it can be. She told me her "newborn" stories and it felt really good to know I wasn't alone. That I was not the only one to struggle in the beginning. Thank you sweet Amy. You feel so helpless when they won't stop crying. Whew. But then she finally releases her muscles, un-clinches those tiny fists, curls into your arms, and all is right again. Like a little lamb. Thank goodness for those moments.

So to relax my own tense muscles, I took a good soak in the tub. Momma brought me some "milk bath" to use and it was glorious. A silky pale pink that created the most amazing bubbles. I sank into the suds and just relaxed away. It's from Graces, an older ladies store in Nashville that's been around forever. The bottle looks like it hasn't been updated since the 70s. Like something you'd find in your grandmothers bathroom. I'm obsessed.